It's a Tuesday night (I think??) Let's check in with each other.
Hi Friends! How are you holding up? Are you doing ok? It's ok if you're not doing ok. But it's also ok if you are doing just fine.
I'm really, really missing in-person events & shows. I had 10+ events canceled or rescheduled for the months of March, April, and May, and I expect a few others to be postponed in the next few weeks.
I think I've identified what I'm feeling, and that is grief.
I have grief for so many things... grief over the people we've lost to COVID-19, the normalcy of mundane daily life, grief over canceled events and just a general melancholy feeling.
I remember feeling this type of grief before - but it was in a totally different situation. I felt this grief when I decided to turn my life around and finally pursue a sober life.
I grieved over the chaos of addiction. It's what I was used to - what I knew for years. I grieved over the loss of alcohol & drugs; at the time, I didn't know how to live, breathe, carry on without them.
I grieved over the loss of "friends," and I put that in quotes because the friends I made while in addiction were not real friends, but they were the only people I knew. When I got sober, I had to say goodbye to them for good.
I grieved over all the things I lost while addicted - jobs, apartments, money, the list goes on.
Right now, though, I'm grieving NORMAL. It's so hard to carry on, not knowing when normal will return. Coronavirus has turned our world upside down. Our leaders are just talking heads.
I'm grieving such simple things... taking the train to work, the feeling of leaving work to go home after a long day, the excitement of a weekend! For the last several weeks, weekends just feel like any other day.
Getting up & getting ready in the morning... as much as I sometimes hate it, I miss it right now. Being able to just go to the store and pick up a head of lettuce like it's nothing... not wondering A.) if this is the time I get Coronavirus, or B.) can I afford this right now?
What I miss the most right now, is the OPTION to plan a visit with my parents, plan a day off work to do whatever I want to do that isn't work, plan another Handmade Happy Hours event.
Ok, so I got a little carried away. I want to know how you are doing. How is your family doing? What can I do to help you feel less isolated?
Stay in touch, fam. I can't wait to see you on the other side.